I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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