SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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