do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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