Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
