Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
