You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
