Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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