oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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