Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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