"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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