i jhust puked up my retainher.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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