You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
His nipple licking is glorious
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