I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
