Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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