Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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