morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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