He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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