Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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