i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
