did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i dont even know how to be here
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
