So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
