god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
