I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
