now i know why i became what i already was.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
