D3 body, D1 cock
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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