You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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