absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
