I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
