He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have fence marks all over my body
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
