I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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