I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
