Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
