Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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