I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
