me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
