Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
