i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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