bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
