Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
