if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
