yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
