So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
someone owes me an orgasm
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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