Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
