I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
