She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
