At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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