i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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