i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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