Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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