Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
